Volume XLII



McPherson College, McPherson, Kansas, September 27, 1957

No. 3

Quadrangle Sets Schedule For Organizational Pictures

Dr. Dale Turner Will Speak At October Regional Confab

Band To Perform Tonight; Oltman Names Personnel

The Macollege Marching Band will perform at the football game tonight, at halftime after two weeks of practice.

Dwight Oltman, a senior who is director of the Macollege Marching Band, has announced the personnel of the band as follows:

Flute players are Valerie Miller and Carolyn Fillmore. John Lehman is playing the horn.

Clarinetists are Betty Oltman, Dick Landrum, Larry Dresher, Mary Gatewood, and Mildred Jacobson.

Cornetists are James Quinn. Patsy Bolen, Mario Oltman. Ronald Bowman. Pat Johnson, and Ruth Kolbe.

Playing the trombone are Irvin Wagner, Marvin Weddle, Jan Brallier, Mardella Guenther. Jo-Ann Negley, Eugene John, and Kenton Wrightsman.

Saxaphone players are Lynda Igel, Norma Hintz, and Janice

College Calendar

Tonight, 7:30, Football game with Bethel College, here.

Wednesday, Oct, 2, Tug of War between sophomores and freshmen at Lakeside Park, 12:15 -1:00 p.m.

Friday, Oct. 4, Football game at Baker, Kas.

Brallier. Playing bass are Dan-il Olmsted and Kenneth Thomp-


Baritone players are William Winters, Winston Beal, and Forrest Kruschwitz. Dick Ferris is playing the Bell Lyre.

In the percussion section are Larry Sanders, Kenneth Fancher, Wayne Zuck, and Marlene Klotz.

Twirlers are Ann Harms, Linda, Owens, Janis Emswiler, and De-lores Wallace.

Lyle Neher To Manage Macollege Dairy Farm

Lyle Neher. '57, has accepted the position of Dairy Manager at the McPherson College Farm. Lyle will assume his new duties around the first of November.

Current plans include the establishment of a Grade "A” Dairy to be in operation early next year. Acquisition of foundation stock through donations and purchases is proceeding.

Six registered Guernseys owned by Lyle will be kept at the farm.

Lyle is married to the former Marlene Moats, Iowa.

Chapel Choir Elects Reinecker As Prexy

Chapel Choir members have selected their officers for the year. They are as follows:

President. Vernon Reinecker; vice president and robe custodian. Howard Duncan; secretary-treasurer. Mary Gatewood; Librarian, Ruth Hanagarne.

Life Of Paul Movie To Be Shown Sunday

A movie on the Life of Paul will be shown at the McPherson Church of the Brethren Sept. 29. at 7:30 p.m. The movie is "The Second Missionary Journey of Paul.”

"God Has a Job For Me To Do" is to be the topic of the morning worship.

Kinzie Has Top Art In Fair; Plans To Study In Mexico

Prof. Kenneth Kinzie

Sollenberger Lists Members Of College-Civic Orchestra

Dean Geiscrt Speaks At Nebraska Meeting

Dean Wayne Geisert spoke at the district meeting in Nebraska on the subject of "Why the Church Related College?"

The meeting was held at Carlton. Nebr., Sept. 20-22.

The chairman of Dean Geisert's session was George Oltman. the college trustee from Nebraska, and the father of the four Oltman students here at Mac.

Also attending the district meeting was Linda Owens, freshman at Mac.

The Dean's family accompanied him to Bellville, Kansas, where they visited Mrs. Geisert's parents. The Geiserts brought back with them their last load of household goods, which have been in storage at Belleville.

Arnold Teaches At Two Colleges

Prof. George M. Arnold, who recently joined the Macollege faculty. is kept busy by two jobs.

In addition to teaching at McPherson College, he teaches at Bethany College, Lindsborg, three afternoons a week. Professor Arnold teaches in the field of Physics, mechanics, and algebra.

Elgin, Illinois, is the home of Prof. Arnold. He graduated from Manchester College, North Manchester, Ind., and received his Masters Degree at the University of Wisconsin.

Mrs. Arnold is the secretary to Dean Wayne Geisert.

The Arnolds are head residents in Fahnestock Hall.

French Horn: Doris Coppock and Kay Elwell Percussion: Ken Fancher

Starting Wednesday morning. October 2. at 9:00 a.m. organizational pictures will be taken for the remainder of the morning for the school yearbook. The Quadrangle. The schedule will be as follows:

9:00 Men's Council 9:10 Women’s Council 9:20 Student Court 9:30 C. B. Y. F.

9:45 M. C. A. Cabinet 9:50 Social Committee 10 Phi Alpha Theta 10:10 Freshman Class Officers 10:20 Future Teachers of America

10:30 Alpha Phi Gamma 10:40 Spectator Staff 10:50 Pi Kappa Delta 10:55 Debate Squad 11:05 Alpha Psi Omega 11:15 Ag. Club 11:25 Sr. Class Officers 11:35 Junior Class Officers 11:45 Sophomore Class Officers In the afternoon faculty pictures will be taken

Dick Bittinger, Quad editor, says that if everyone in the organizational pictures will be there a little early ao the photographer does not have to wait, it will greatly facilitate and speed up the taking of pictures, thus shortening the absence from class.

Professors will be notified and students will be excused from class a few minutes early to be in the pictures of the groups they

Dr. Dale E. Turner, professor in the Kansas School of Religion, Kansas University, will be the main speaker at the Western Region Conference of the Church of the Brethren. The conference will be held on Oct. 26-31 in McPherson

Dr. Turner is the minister of the Plymouth Congregational Church. Lawrence. Kas. He is an outstanding conference speaker and the past moderator of the Kansas Congregational Conference.

He received his B. A. degree at West Virginia Wesleyan College. his B. D. degree at Yale Divinity School, and his D. D. degree at W. V. Wesleyan. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the Chicago Theological School and of the Kansas Congregational Conference Board of Trustees.

Other conference speakers are W. Harold Row. executive secretary of the Brethren Service Commission, Elgin, Ill.; Paul E. Miller, pastor of the Panther Creek Church of the Brethren. Adel. Iowa; Stewart Kauffman, director of ministry and evangelism. Elgin, Ill.; and Norman J. Baugher, general secretary of the general Brotherhood Board.

James Beahm, pastor of the First Church of the Brethren, are members of.

Students are asked to watch the bulletin board in Sharp Hall as to where the pictures of their groups will be taken.

Dr. Date Turner

Wichita, Kas.. will be the worship leader for the Bible Hour.

Dr. Bittinger Solicits

Dr. D. W. Bittinger, president of McPherson College was in Wichita on Monday and Tuesday to solicit funds for the Kansas Foundation of Private Colleges and Universities.

Wednesday Dr. Bittinger attended a Family Life Institute at Belleville. Kas.

Irvin Wagner Elected A Cappella Choir Prexy

Officers have been elected for the Macollege A Cappella Choir.

Irvin Wagner was elected president, and Forrest Kruschwitz was elected vice-president.

Norma Watkins will serve as secretary, and—Dorothy Blough is the treasurer.

Serving as Choir Council members will be Dwight Oltman and Elsie Lucore.

FTA Holds Picnic For Prospects

The Macollege FTA held a picnic on Thursday, Sept. 26, at 5 p.m. at the Lakeside Park. All students interested in joining were invited.

The FTA. Future Teachers of America, is an organization to help future teachers understand their career more fully.

Programs on many different subjects include information on teaching problems, job opportunities. and other pertinent information.

The name of the FTA was recently changed to the Student National Education Association.

Members receive two magazines, the NEA Journal and the Kansas Teacher.

Officers of the organization are: Ed Switzer, president; Don Holderread. vice president; Shirley Rhoades, secretary; Barbara Maul, treasurer; and Glenna Haw-baker, historian and librarian.

Sponsors are Prof. Merlin Frantz and Prof. Dayton Rothrock.

431 Students Enroll

Revised enrollment figures, ac-evirate as of Sept. 20. show the. total Macollege enrollment has risen to 431 students.

Included in this total are 140 freshmen, 87 sophomores. 69 juniors. 88 seniors, and 47 special students.

The total of regular students is made up of 239 men and 145 women students.

Members of the College-Civic Orchestra have been announced by Prof. Paul Sollenberger as follows:

Violin: Lillian Clemens, Jean Ray. Carol Fancher. Joan Johnson. Linda Larsen. Ardith Sellers. Don Holderread. Jim Smallwood, Meribeth Kaufman. Donna Burkholder. Virginia Campbell. Carol Ann Dalke. and Gretchen Smith. Viola: Lorene Selack Cello: Anna Fuchs, Mardella Guenther, Faye Fields Trombone: Les Sperling and Gary Stelting

Timpani: C. Dwight Oltman String Bass: Don Frederick and Norma Watkins

Flute: Janis Emswiller and Carolyn Sue Fillmore Clarinet: Dick Landrum and Mildred Jacobsen Bassoon: Irvin Wagner and Forrest Kruschwitz Oboe: Pat Albright Trumpet: Ruth Nigh, Jimmy Quinn and Patsy Bolen

Prof. Kenneth Kinzie, Head of the McPherson College Art Department, was chosen the outstanding artist contributing to the fine arts exhibit at the State Fair in Hutchinson this year.

He took first place in the Kansas Artist Special class, which was for professional artists, and consisted of a group of five paintings.

He also took firsts in the oil portrait class, the still life oil class, the commercial design pen and ink class, the separate pen and ink class, and the Tempera Paint division.

He took a second in the oil abstract painting class.

Plans are being made for Professor Kinzie to display these and other of his works sometime this semester.

Going To Mexico

Second semester this year Prof.

Kinzie will go to Mexico to study in the art colony at the historic, colonial Mexican town of San Miguel de Allende. The art school there is connected with the University of Guanahanto.

Prof. Kinzie will be studying on a $1250 traveling fellowship which he won during his senior year at the Art Institute of Chicago in competition with a specially selected group of his classmates.

Prof. Kinzie plans to concentrate his studies in Mexico on photography and ceramics. The study of photography will enable him to offer a course in photography first semester of next year.

In ceramics he wants to study what can be done in ceramics with the very primitive facilities which are available in the Mexico school.

Attended McPherson

Prof. Kinzie attended McPherson College for two years before transferring to the Chicago Art Institute, where he took four additional years, majoring in drawing, painting, and illustration.

Following his graduation, he was employed in the field of commercial art as an art design.

Tug Of War Will Tell Freshmen Fate Oct. 2

A tug of war between the sophomores and freshmen will determine whether Or not the freshman will wear their red beanies for another week.

If the sophomores win freshman must wear their beanies for another week. If the freshman win, there will be no more red beanies seen on Macampus until next year.

This tug of war will be, held Wednesday, Oct. 2. at Lakeside Park.

Mac Battles Bethel In Opener Tonight

In the second home game and the first conference game of the season, the Macollege Bulldogs will attempt to devour the Bethel College of Newton, The game starts at 7:30 p.m. tonight in the Mac Stadium.

McPherson defeated the Bethel team last year by a score of 20-0.

Bethel College lost its opening non-conference game of the season last week at Alva, Okla., where Northwest Oklahoma State defeated the Graymaroons 33-13.

In the series with Bethel, since 1922 the Bulldogs hove inflected 22 defeats on the Graymaroons while only allowing them to win nine games.

Bethel placed fourth in the conference race last year following McPherson which held down third.

Reporters and Writers

Dr. D. W. Bittinger

Cliff Tusing

Joyce Ulrich

Duane Cissner

Anna Vassiloff

Donelda Arick

Glenda Wine

Stanley Ilin

Vernard Foley

Kaye Fields

Georgia Lee Bangston

Dick Ferris

The Business Staff

BUI Gripe.............

Business Manager

Howard Duncan

-Asst. Business Mgr.

Diane Browning

Circulation Manager

Gordon Yoder ------

Faculty Advisor

The Editorial Staff

Carl Harris-----------

Editor In Chief

Sherland Ng--------

Managing Editor

JoAnn Negley.........

Campus Editor

Harold Connell .

Sports Editor

Sarah May Brunk

Faculty. Advisor

Ten Juniors Play For Mac

Ten members of the Macollege Football squad this year are juniors. Here is what Coach Sid Smith has to say about them.

DONALD COTTON — Don is a McPherson High product. A good, hard-working boy who will see service at both center and guard. He is a returning letter roan. Don weighed in at 185 and stands six foot.

GENE ELLIOTT — A junior from McPherson. Gene never played any football in high school and has been out two years in college. He shows promise of developing into a good running back. Gene has a fine spirit, works hard and will give the other squad members some competition before the year is over.

WAYNE GROSSNICKLE -Wayne is a 6'2” lad who hails from Laurens. Iowa. He is expected to hold down a tackle spot during the season. He has had two years of experience and Is a letterman. Wayne weighs 190.    

RICK HOOD — A junior from Cabool. Missouri, he is starting his third year as a squad member. Rick developed quite rapidly the latter part of last season and is one of the better blockers on the Bulldog squad. Rick is a letter-man who will see a lot of service at the guard spot.

JERRY MCPHERSON—A junior from McClouth, Kansas, Jerry played his first year at end. Last year he was shifted to tac-

Bulldogs Show Strength; Lose Came To Doane, 19-18

Glen Faus

The Human Sea

There is a murmur In the stillness Like the gathering of a storm.

I can feel it. slow approaching, Taking on tremendous form

I can realize the purpose Of this human "Ebb and Flow,"

And I'm ready for the' deluge. For ’tis dose at hand, I know.

Intuition tells me plainly,

Time can hold no secrets now.

Life is rolling up the curtain: Truth will play its part, somehow.

Suicides in many bed-rooms: Starving mothers giving up;

Paupers sleeping in the alleys; Love accepting Sorrows “Cup."

Thrones and rulers going crazy; In their inarch for fame and gold.

Millionaires with scorn and hatred. Face a people, brave and bold.

When the "Angry Giant” staggers To his feet in the "Human Sea,"

And common people shall begin To cleanse our great Democracy.

Then, will you learn as ne'er before.

What the words "Too Late" can mean.

As compromise and arguments Are banished from the scene;

And. Gold has lost its value; And, fame is a thing to scorn;

Your wealth a futile anchor; . Your life, a cold grey morn.

Your stocks and bonds, just paper;

Your friends, well! Where are they?

They fade, as friendships always fade.

When Mammon loses sway kle where be played so well that he was given the post for keeps. Jerry is a good all around athlete. He weighs 190 pounds and is 6’3" tall. We expect him to take pretty good care of the right side of the forward wall this year.

TOM RAGLAND — Tom is one of the fastest men on the Bulldog squad. He is a fleet right-half and likes to carry the mail. Tom will also see some action as a defensive end. He is 5’8" tall, weighs 160 pounds and comes from Lawrence, Kansas. Tom has been plagued with injuries, but this year good fortune has been with him and he seems to be going strong.

LARRY SAMS — A junior from Simpson High School is playing quarter-back. Larry is a good ball handler and a better than average passer. He weighs 140 pounds and is 5’6” tall. What he lacks in size he makes up for in drive.

KENNETH STUCKY - Kenny is from Moundridge, and he will have the job of directing the Bulldogs on the field. As quarterback. he will be passing, kicking and running, each of which he does well. He is a good defensive boy as well as offensive.

DON WIDRIG — He is a shifty half-back from Beloit. Kansas, who will be out for the left half post. Don was hampered all last year with a knee injury which

In a non-conference game with Doane College, Nebr., the host team outlasted McPherson’s Bulldogs 19-18 on Friday. Sept. 20.

A 10-yard pass for a touchdown in the last three minutes of the game allowed Doane to score the victory.

The game was one that was played on a fairly even basis throughout, although the Bulldogs held a slight advantage in most of the categories with the excep-he sustained in the first scrimmage. Barring injury. Don should see a lot of action being a good passer, kicker and runner. He is 5'9" tall and weighs 152 pounds.

NORMAN YODER - Norman is from International Falls, Minnesota, and he is working out at the right half. Norman has been out of football for two years. He is 5’8" tall and weighs 150 pounds.

lion of scoring.

Scoring in the first, third, and fourth quarters, the Bulldogs were unable to make any of their conversion attempts good.

An extra-point mode by the home team after their second TD accounted for the winning margin.

McPherson's TD's were scored by Ragland, Jeffries, and Stucky. Josnoch, Lehl, and Swanson scored TD's while Koehler made good the conversion for Doane.

Due to an injury obtained in practice earlier in the week. Ed Delk sow only limited action in the game.

Pondering With The President. ..

What About My Roommate?

ues of thought for you? Are you reading only what you must, or even less than what you must, instead of reading extra?

What about your money? Are you spending more than you thought you would, more perhaps than you should?

What about your timet Does time hang heavy on your hands? Or, are you so busy that you do not have time to do the things you would like to do?

Making these adjustments to your roommate, to your studies, to your professors, adjustments with reference to money and time, all of these are your responsibility.

Your teachers and counselors want to help you, but nothing really happens in your progress and in your education unless it happens to you. and whether it happens to you depends more upon you than anyone else. Let us each make this our greatest year.

Miss Seik Spends Summer At U Of Denver Workshop

Miss Siek attended workshops on Education and Family Finance. Subjects discussed were buymanship. insurance, investment, credit. housing, budgeting wills and contracts.

Lectures were given by instructors in the School of Business Administration in Denver and by Denver businessmen. The lecturers were experts in their field.

The workshop was in charge of the Department of Schools of Education in Denver. Clifford Be-bell was coordinator. The three other staff members were the

McPherson was well represent ed at the Northeast Kansas District Conference last weekend at Ottawa, Kansas.

Wayne Zuck was the music director of the conference and represented Macollege in the college hour. Dr. Bittinger was the main speaker on Saturday evening, giving a message at the youth banquet and then at the church. Both Dr. and Mrs. Bittinger gave short talks on Macollege Sunday morning in the college hour.

Others from McPherson participating in the conference were Donelda Arick, Don Rowe, and Gorman Zook.

Books For You-

New Books In Mac Library Cover Varied Phases In Art

Modern Painters by Lionello Venturi disclsses the work, personalities. and backgrounds of eight painters: Goya, Constable. David, Ingres, Delacroix, Corot, Daumier, and Courbet.

Tintoretto: Paintings and Drawing edited by Hans Tietze is a scholarly analysis of the Italian artist's style, illustrated by many black and white plates and a few colored ones.

American Painting by Virgil Barker relates the history of painting in the United States from the seventeenth century to the present. All regions and all painters. such as folk artists, sign painters, and designers of prints, are included.

In The History of Impressionism, John Rewald uses little-known documents to characterize the impressionist painters and to

beginning and end of the session and a picnic in the mountains.

Superintendent of Schools, Denver; the Supervisor of Home Economics, Tuscon, Ariz.; and an instructor in the School of Business Administration in Denver.

By D. W. Bittinger

After three weeks of school it is good to stop and ask ourselves some questions.

If we are started right, we will like college; we will probably like most of our professors: we will like our courses; we will like each other; we will like even our roommates.

What about your roommate? Does he go to bed too late? Is he noisy? Does he take his share of caring for the room? Does he get up too early? Does he snore? Do you wish you could toss him out the window, and change him for another?

If you don’t like your roommate. if he has all of these things the matter with him, part of the fault may be yours. Does he like you? Liking is a sort of mutual thing.

Now what about your courses? Are they fun? Are they too hard? Are they opening up new aven

Miss Sick. Home Economics instructor at McPherson College, attended a workshop at the University of Denver for five weeks this summer.

Miss Sick’s room and meals were provided by a scholarship given by the National Institute of Life Inusrance. The Institute donates $10,000 to ten schools to be used over a period of five years.

There were 14 workshops operating this year, one of them in Puerto Rico. Attendance represented intermediate, secondary, and college teachers and school principals and superintendents.

Subjects discussed were home economics, social science, mathematics, speech and business education. Sessions were held from 8:30 to 12:00 and 1:00 to 4:00.

Planned recreation was provided. There was a dinner at the

Shutter Bugs Form Mac Club

Approximately 12 students met at Vaniman Hall to organize a Photographer Club on Sept. 23.

This newly organized club is headed by Ole Kolstad - president. Terry Spitzer - secretary. Ruth Kolbe - publicity chairman. The club members will remodel a downstairs room in Vaniman Hall to be used as a darkroom. The purpose of the club is to discuss problems of photography and improve the techniques in photography.

The club is sponsored by Prof. Kinzie.

Six At Ottawa Confab

Many new books have been added to the library during the summer. Among these are books on various phases of art.

Design for Artists and Craftsmen by Louis Wolchonok tells how to create your own designs and motifs. People, objects in nature, landscapes and manmade objects all can be used to build new designs.

The Amateur Painter’s Handbook by Frederic Taubes is aimed at helping the intelligent amateur to improve his oil painting. Charts and photographs aid the presentation of fundamentals and fine details.

How to Make Pottery and Ceramic Sculpture by Julia Hamlin Duncan is the first of the Art for Beginners Series. This book tells how to make 20 objects, progressing from the easiest to the most difficult. The projects require a minimum of tools and do not need a potter’s wheel.

Enjoying Modern Art by Sarah Newmeyer traces the development of modern art from the French Revolution to the present. Included in the story are biographies of the artists, as well as comments on their work.

tell of exhibitions of their paintings. Many reproductions illustrate the story.

Medieval American Art by Pal

Kelemen has been revised to form one volume containing all the material found in the original as well as including the discoveries made since 1942. The works of the Indians before Columbus came are discussed in terms of their value in art history.

Mac Students Submit Membership Cards

Last Sunday. 104 students made the McPherson Church of the Brethren their church for the 1957-58 school term.

Student membership cards will be available again this Sunday.

Don't Read It .. .

We Like K-FIB

for best actress of the year.

This is Al Low Man again. Now here is a favorite tune from way back. “Love Is a Money-Spending Thing." (Hum, please)

TOOT . . . TOOT . . . TOOT . . . . Tweet . . . Tweet . . . Tweet . Now here is your K-FIB News

Gov. Phaw Bus from the sov-erign state of R Can Saw is quoted as saying. "What, me not worry?" He has issued a call for all local Cub Scouts and Camp Fire Girls to assemble in Little Rock to help him keep the peace.

(A grand orchestral fanfare interrupts here — Dumm, dumm de dumm —    Don’t

try to hum this, you’ll never sound like an orchestra, no matter how hard you try.) Now here it is. according to the K-FIB official survey of the week, the number one tune. "Honey-Cob."

Due to circumstances beyong our control, we now present the Fill Noze Show.

Hello Friends, this is Fill Noze presenting music to fall asleep by while driving you car 60 miles per hour.

To start things off we have a record that’s really going places — "Freight Train.” (Lean out of window and listen to freight train going by on track south of college. If there is none going by now. wait till one goes by before continuing to read.)

Yipee! Those Cowlot Cleaners are really riding high. Are you tired of the “dry - cleaner” smell your clothes have when they come back from most cleaners? Then try the Cowlot cleaners with their new process that gives that typical country odor to your clothes.

Here it comes! Here it comes!

Why The Grass Is Green

the fellow next door is using his electric shaver again, and he is bigger than we are, so I guess we’ll just have to turn off the radio.

By Norris and Carl

Deadline's near—have to write. No ideas—What a night!

This describes our situation as we sit down to write our weekly Don’t Read It column. So; being naturally lazy anyhow, we have decided to just turn on the radio to that famous station. K-FIB and let you listen in with us. Here’s Al Low Man now.

“And now it's 27 and 13-29 K-FIB minutes past 9 o'clock. And here is that favorite tune. ‘Love Notes in the Mud.’

(Since our typewriter writes in a monotone, please stop here and hum the tune over to yourself) Now here is our own Mr. Wea-thervane. “In Afghanistan they have a blue sky today; in Tim Buc Too they have a blue sky today. In New Mexico they have no sky today. (A-Bomb Test again)’’

“Now here is Fats Vomito to sing ‘Short Rat Fannie.’ ”

(Try humming again, but if you don’t have laryngitis you won’t be able to sound much like Fats.)

In cooperation with the Sledge-Pick Sheriff Department, who yesterday had their radar equipment located at South Elm Street, we make this announcement. "Will the guy who took it please bring it back?"

Now Jiminy Fiddling reports from Hollow Wood. . . . Tweet .

. . Tweet . . Tweet . . Tweet . . Tweet . . etc., etc., etc.

(To get reaslistic effect, repeat this rapidly on a high shrill monotone.)

Hellow, Witch - a Taw. this is Jiminy Fiddling reporting to you from the movie capital of the world. The word from here is that actress Kim NoBack is way out in front here in Hollow Wood, and is expected to get the Appendectomy Award of the Oyster

Here it comes! Booooooooommm. The current K-FIB pick hit. Label—Dash Artist—John Brown Title — “Although Out on Broad Kansas Plain." (Stand facing Sharp Hall & sing all the verses.

Now here is an old favorite, “Flood The Town and Drown The People."


No, that isn’t the news signal.

A Frantic Fable . .

By Faus and Foley

Once upon a time, shortly before yesterday, in a blump-sized town close to the city limits, there lived a poor family.

There was the frugal, frail father. who. in his younger days had been a lumberjack, but now was an invalid because he had broken his axe handle and couldn't work any more.

There was the stepmother, cruel of course, whom the father had married in order to qualify for story material.

Then there was Jack, whom his friends called Jackson.

Just these three, and they were very poor. We know they were very poor because they lived in a trailer — a horse trailer.

One day. Jackson was a little short of cash, so he removed one of the trailer’s hub caps for the purpose of purloining and pawning it. However, being a real slouch as a mechanic, he removed the wheel also, completely upsetting the household.

After he stopped running, Jack-son decided to make some money before he returned home to avoid a spanking by his cruel stepmother. Not that Jack was heroic, but his stepma always used a rubber hose.

Using his mechanical ability, Jackson began working on an invention, which he called the can opener. This sold briskly to people who were serving time in the can.

Jack and his newly - freed friends made money by the bankload and soon Jackson had enough cabbage to return home in triumph.

While Jack was away, his father dear joined Scotland Yard and was pulling weeds from the yard when Jackson returned, tooling up in his solid gold Rollys Royce.

When the father saw his wanted son. he gave chase. Our vil-lian ran, dropping his loot in the process. All that fresh cash dropped to the ground, where it took root and grew. That, kiddies, is why the grass is green. F & F