Flory Signed For History Department

Alumnus Suceeds Dr. Bowersox Next Year


Dr. L. K. Bowersox is planning to discontinue his services on the faculty of McPherson College at the close of the summer session

the latter part of July. His successor will be Raymond L. Flory who has signed a contract as As-

sistant Professor of History and Political Science. He received his 11. S. at McPherson in 1940 and his A. M. at the University of


Architect Begins Work

Mr. A. R. Mann, architect of Hutchinson. Kansas, was on the campus March 31, to confer with some of the college authorities in reference to plans for the building program that has been authorized by the Board of Trustees. The plans call for a dining hall and kitchen, a men's dormitory, and an addition to the library.



Debate Squad Leaves For Ohio Entered In National Convention



Raymond Flory

Kansas in 194 2. Next September he will have completed his course requirements for his Ph. D. at the University of Kansas.

Mr. Flory was Principal and teacher at the Appanoose High School near Pomona, Kansas from 1942 to 1946. Mrs. Flory is also a graduate of McPherson College.


Student Council Election

The annual spring election for

Student Council President and Treasurer will be held April 11 it was announced yesterday by Robert Burkholder. If a primary election is necessary it will be held April 11 with the final election being on the 14.

Baseball Practice Attracts Seventeen

Like all the other baseball teams in the country, the Bulldogs are in spring training. And as is usual, the creak of aching muscles predominates the early practices.

During the past week the diamond enthusiasts have been concentrating on hitting and fielding. Chalk talks are in order with fielding plays and base-running being stressed.

The following boys are out for the Bulldog baseball team:

Winston Beam. Vernon Blicken-staff, Theodore Furry, Lawrence Gayer, Bob Hill, Gerald Hutcheson, Lawrence Lowrey, Francis Markham, Morris McClung, Duane Ramsey, Louie Rogers, Elmer Roth, Don Smith. Jim Stull, Carol Tillman. Dean Ward, Loren Weyand.


Stage Theme Of Players Banquet

"All the World Is a Stage", was the theme of the McPherson Col lege Players Banquet, which was given Friday. March 28, at the Blue Room of the Hotel Warren. There were symbols depicting the various stages of life—a baby’s rattle, a schoolboy’s hooks and an old man’s cane, placed around the table. Blue and gold crepe streamers were used for decorative purposes, presenting a colorful atmosphere to the banquet ball.

Covers were laid for twenty players and their guests, which included Monty Ash, his wife, and Miss Della Lehman, bringing the total attending to forty.

Clifford Shultz acted as toast master, carrying out the program of the evening in an informal manner. A Shakespearean aria was sung by Miss Esther Miller. Monty Ash gave a reading, and Miss Wine and Miss Lehman starred in a play concerning ‘‘inmates’’ of an old lady's home. The latter being the method in which Miss Wine was initiated into the organization as faculty advisor. Nine persons were initiated into the dramatics club, by reading reversed parts from the play, "George Washington Slept Here.”



Dog House

Receives Chow

During the past week, there have been several contributions to the "Dog House.’’ The contributions were as follows. Women’s Work of the McPherson Church, $100; an un-named friend, $50: Mrs. J. D. Bright of Topeka. $10, and an offer to give the fifth dollar of money raised by students and faculty (20% of total raised.)

The above contributions are greatly appreciated by the Snack Bar committee, and will help the movement for securing funds to better the facilities of the campus refreshment center.


by Marie Miller April 2

“Greatness” Theme Of Chapel Speech

In observing Holy Week. Dr. J. Russell Throckmorton, District Superintendent of the Central Conference in Kansas of the Methodist Church, spoke in Chapel Wednesday morning. Greatness was the theme of his talk.

Greatness has a great variety of meanings. The best meaning and the one which should be applied is that “he who would be great among you is your servant.” As the pages of history are turned back it will be found that those men who have received greatness are not the ones who are idle and are waited upon but are those who serve others. Abraham Lincoln, as one example, accepted the invitation to greatness and gave his life for it. It is easy to reject the opportunity for greatness, yet, today it is easier than ever before to become great because of the unlimited opportunities surrounding us. Misfortune and suffering are an invitation to be great as is human need. With these fields in which to work, more than ever before should go down in history as great men and women.

The invitation to greatness goes out to everyone but few will likely respond unless the spirit of Christ gets into them.


Red Cross Drive

The Red Cross drive has been in full swing this week. Certain persons have been designated to contact everyone in the school. There have been signs to remind students and faculty of the drive posted on bulletin boards.


Revealment

They planned for Christ a cruel death;

Steel pierced His hands and feet and side; They mocked His last expiring breath,

And thought their hate was satisfied.

They wagged their heads and said, “Lo, He Would crush our temple and in three days Restore its beauty. Come and see This boaster gone death’s quiet ways.”

They did not know that on that hill Eternal love was satisfied;

That Christ, who hung there, triumphed still, . . And only cruel death had died !

—John R. Moreland.


Preliminary Plans

Made For Banquet

The Seventeenth Annual Booster Banquet for McPherson College will be at the Community Building Friday, April 18 at 6:45 P. M. The speaker for the occasion is the Honorable Frank Carlson. Governor of Kansas.

Committees are at work planning for the event and a large attendance is anticipated. The members of the Ticket Sale Committee will attempt to contact the various business and professional men and women in McPherson as well as other interested friends of the College.



Ten Basketball Letters Awarded

In older to win a letter in basketball, a player must have par-ticipated in at least one-half of the halves. Although the Bulldogs did not win the Conference championship, they had a successful season. The following fellows will receive a letter for the 1946-47 season:

Vance Carlson, Verlyn Fisher, Lyle Goering, Gerald Hutcheson, Carl Kasey, Bernard Nordling, Lee Nordling, Bob Odle, Don Smith, Loren Weyand.

Because Francis Markham and Don Unruh played for an outside team, their letters are being withheld temporarily. By playing on another team their eligibility was forfeited. At a conference meeting in May their eligibility will be ruled upon. Marvin Heidce-brecht will be awarded the manager's letter.


Easier Vacation

Easter vacation begins today at 12:10. For three and one-half days Macollegites will enjoy freedom from studying. Classes will again convene Tuesday morning at 8:00 o’clock. Happy Easter, everyone:


March 31

“Being Popular" Upton’s Topic


W. H. Upton, pastor of the Congregational Church in McPherson, spoke on “being popular” to those who attended Chapel Monday morning. But it was a different kind of popularity than is normally associated with the word.

This popularity upon which he spoke was the kind Jesus had on Monday, the day following his triumphant entry Into Jerusalem. On that day Jesus could have shown his vengeance upon all who hud opposed him but instead he spent the day forgiving those in need of forgiveness.

Patronize Spectator ads.


Harlan is a member of the SCA Cabinet and of the Dormitory Council of Fahnestock Hall. He has been a hand member for two years. Harlan attended Fort Hays Kansas State College two years. Photography is Harlan’s hobby, and he belongs to the McPherson Camera Club.



April 11. Piano Recital.

April 13, Vocal Recital, 3:30 P. M., Kent Naylor and Paul Wagoner.

April 1G, McPherson College Players Production.

April 18, Booster Banquet. April 19, Piano Recital. 3:30 P. M., Miss Mugler’s students.


In Appreciation

I would like to convey my most grateful appreciation to my many campus friends tor the many beautiful cards, the cheering words of those who visited my room, and the numerous other kind expressions of concern while I was a patient at the McPherson Hospital. Especially do I wish to remember the thoughtfulness of the "Married Macs” and my fellow student ministers for their sympathetic understanding in the purse of $25.00.

OLIVER C. DILLEY.


Spring Stars!


Some of the star-gazers of McPherson College had a chance to gaze at the stars that were shining in broad daylight out on the roof of Arnold Hull this week. Unobstructed views were obtained through a small mimic telescope. which was placed at the foot of the steps at the side entrance of Sharp Hall.

Admission for the view was five cents per look. The stars were the girls of Arnold Hull in their first sun basking of the year. It is believed that the telescope was used only by those who are far sighted, for the views were very good without using any me-chanical devise to better them.


The first Senior in this year’s list is Orlo Allen, who hails from the timber country around Big Like, Minnesota. Orlo has distinguished himself as an Industrial Arts Major. During his second and third years, he was a member of the Dormitory Council of Fahnestock Hall. In some of his spare time, over in the Industrial Arts laboratory. Orlo makes and repairs odds and ends, and refinishes antique furniture. For three years now Orlo has been Handicraft Director at a YMCA Summer Camp. He likes that sort of work because, as you may have guessed, handicraft is his hobby. After his graduation Orlo plans to teach Industrial Arts—“somewhere.”

One of the many Senior Chemistry Majors this year is Evelyn Argabright. Evelyn is from Dallas Center, Iowa. This year she is an assistant in the chemistry laboratory, and during her first two years here in school, she belonged to the Chemistry Club. She was a member of the Choral Club for three years. Not too long ago Evelyn’s surname was Royer, but Mr. William Argabright modified it somewhat. Evelyn states that she plans on the future to which all good housewives look forward.

Jane Bell, of Langdon, Kansas, is our next Senior. Since Jane is a Chemistry Major, one would expect to find her quite often in the chemistry laboratory. That is quite the fact, for Jane is a part-time laboratory assistant in the Chemistry Department this year. As Secretary of the Senior Class, Jane has charge of all the minutes, other records, and the like. Jane has been a member of the Dormitory Council of Arnold Hall the last two years; this year she belongs to the Women's Council She served as Publicity Chairman on the WAA Cabinet. Jane lists sports as her hobby. She intends to work in some Chemistry laboratory for at least a year after she graduates.

One of the musicians of the Senior Class is Lucy Blough, who comes from Waterloo, Iowa. Her musical achievements here at McPherson College are outstanding, for she has been a member of the Choral Club, a Cappella Choir, and Women’s Quartette for four years. Last year Lucy was both President and Assistant Director of the A Cappella Choir; she has been student director of the women’s quartet to which she belongs for the last two years. Lucy attended the School of Musical Northwestern University during the summer of 1 945. Lucy has been a member of the Women’s Council the last two years. For the last three years she belonged to the Recreational Council. After she graduates, Lucy intends to do music instructing in public schools.

Next we find a mathematician

Harlan Bowman, of Quinter, Kansas. Following the path of his uncle, he has been a laboratory assistant in the Physics Department for two years now. He spent three years with the Geode-file Survey in CPS. At present


Dog House Stunt Wins First Prize

Boys' Dorm Second In Evening of Fun


For their impersonations of the “characters” whose elbows most frequently dust their counter, the waitresses of the “Dog House” were awarded first prize on stunt night. The audience recognized some of the portrayals immediately. since the girls did a good job of dressing and acting like the people whom they impersonated.

Second prize went to the boys' dorm. In their stunt, they humorously depicted the woes of living three in a room, the shower line, and a hull-session. The S. C. A. dramatized the 8 o’clock English class, showing the students coming to Prof. Hess’ classroom. They won third prize.

Other stunts were presented by the girls dorm, W. A. A., Spectator. Freshmen class, and the Slub Club. Kent Naylor was the master of ceremonies. Between stunts, the audience was entertained by college talent. Miss Lehman gave a reading, the Jar-hoe brothers presented Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd, Doris Coppock and Dorris Mur-duck sang solos, and Bonnie Alexander played a piano solo.


IN STUDENT COUNCIL

In Student Council last Wednesday the replies from the questionnaires concerning hand letters were read and discussed.

Snack Room plans for the room were discussed.

It was announced that letters are soon to he sent out asking for contributions so that the project may he finished by next fall if at all possible.

The Snack Room Drive committee suggested that the student go in groups of two to solicit the business men of the town.


Petition Protests Three-To-A-Room

Residents of Fahnestock and prospective residents presented a petition to the Administration Committee meeting in special ses sion, March 27. The petition signed by 56 college men protested the proposed plan of the administration to put three boys to a room next year. This plan is being considered as a posible so-lution to the housing shortage next year.

A committee of three presented the petition and the reasons that the protest was being made, asking that other solutions to the problem be considered first.


Buhler Wins

It has been reported that the class "A" basketball tournament was won by Buhler, Kansas. The Coach of the Buhler team Is Verie Ohmart, who is an alumnus of mcPherson College.


Five Debaters and Hess Represent McPherson

The top debaters and orators of McPherson College will leave for Bowling Green State University, Bowling Green, Ohio, with Professor Hess at noon today.

They are going to Ohio for the Sixteenth National Intercollegiate Convention of Pi Kappa Delta.

McPherson College will be represented by two debate teams. These are Elsie Schnorr and Catherine Little. the women’s team, and Robert Yoder and Theodore Geisert, who compose the men’s team. Carl Stucky will participate in Oratory and Extemporaneous speaking. Miss Schnorr will also compete in the women’s oratorical contests, and Miss Little will participate in extemporaneous speaking. Mr. Yoder and Mr. Geisert will also be in discussion groups. Thus McPherson representatives will participate in all seven events of the convention.

There will be eight rounds of debate, four rounds of oratory, and four rounds of extemporaneous speaking in which all teams will compete. Then the eighteen highest will compete for the finals.

There will probably be one hundred chapters of Pi Kappa Delta, from Ohio and California attending the convention.

Professor Hess has the honor of holding the chairmanship of the Resolutions Committee.

The teams plan to return Sunday, April 13. We hope they will return victorious.


Services Observe Holy Week

This week, McPherson College is observing Holy Week, by cooperating with the churches of the city and in providing suitable programs at the assembly and chapel hours at the College chapel.

Reveiend W. H. Upton. Pastor of the Congregational Church, and President of the Ministerial Alliance. spoke at the college Monday at 9:50. and Dr. J. Russell Throckmorton. District Superintendent of the Dodge City Conference of the Methodist Church, spoke Wednesday at 9:50.

The public was welcomed and there was a large attendance for both sessions.


Nakamura New | President Of WAA

The officers of the Women’s Athletic Association were an-nounced at the formal banquet of the organization. The new president is Masako Nakamura, who will be a second semester Junior in September. Vice-president is Arlene Rolfs, who will be a Senior. Mary Metzler, Junior, will be secretary. Bernice Lind-strom, Junior, was elected as treasurer, and Joan Finfrock, senior, is the new publicity chairman.

Best wishes to the officers, and may next year be a good one for WAA.


Translation Bureau Established

The Language Department hns established a translating bureau where letters which you or your friends might receive from foreign contries will be translated, either by the teachers or by students under supervision of teachers. The charge for a letter up to two pages is 50 cents. The charge for translating letters from English to a foreign language is 60 cents up to two pages. The money will be used for relief purposes.

Dr. Edith Kern,


College Players Polish

Play, “None So Blind"

The McPherson College Players are hard at work polishing the play "None So Blind" for produc-tion April 16, Under the direction of Monty Ash, who wrote the play, it is becoming a fine ama-teur production. Publicity com-mittees are at work and tickets will soon be on sale







Subscription Rates for One School Year $1.00

Address All Correspondence to THE SPECTATOR McPherson, Kansas


Dayton Rothrock Marianna Stinnette

Robert Simonton Gordon Reist Lina Van Popering


THE EDITORIAL STAFF


Editor-in-Chief

Managing Editor Campus Editor

....... Sports Editor

Faculty Adviser



of good they can do. The things that are really important are worth the sacrifice.


Engagements

Mr. and Mrs. S. M. Dell announce the engagement of their daughter. Mary Jo, to Melvin Christy at an engagement party last week. Miss Dell’s home is in McPherson, and Mr. Christy’s is at Garrison, Iowa. The wedding date has not been announced.


Reporters and Special Writers

Helen Stover    W. W. Peters    Ruth Holsopple

Kenneth Brown    Mrs. Jim Stull    Morris McClung

John Firestone    Marie Delaplain    Joyce Birkin

Marie Miller    Kaizo Kubo    Patricia Kennedy


Mary Metzler Donald Keim Barbara Burton LeRoy Doty J. H. Fries


THE BUSINESS STAFF


Business Manager

................... Assistant

Circluation Manager

.................... Collector

....... Faculty Adviser


Student Volunteers met in the SUR Tuesday morning for an interesting Easter program centered around the cross. The program consisted chiefly of musical numbers. Donna Johnson sang, “The Old Rugged Cross.” accompanied at the piano by Ruth Hol-sopple. Ruth then played several selections which had special significance in relation to the cross. Eulalia Crist read a poem entitled. “I Am the Cross.” The whole group sang “Beneath the Cross of Jesus." and Warren Hoover closed the program with a prayer.

At the SCA program Thursday evening of last week, Dorris Murdock sang “Prayer.” She was accompanied by Cora Emmert at the piano. Dr. Metzler gave a short talk on sacrifice. He said that some people are more concerned about the amount of money they can obtain rather than the amount


Choir Sings At Congregational Church

The Holy Week services began in the Congregational Church sanctuary Sunday evening with the McPherson College A Cappella choir giving a musical program followed by an address by Dr. J. Russell Throckmorton.

The Holy Week services are being held in the Congregational church every night this week except Thursday, when each church held their own special services.

Adv.—Repigger Cigarettos are now on sale in the Dog House. The price is ten kronen. They are red cork-tipped and last longer than any other cigarettos on the market.


The President’s Corner


This is the Spectator just before Easter Sunday. Is this Easter to be just another day, or will it be meaningful and enrichening for our lives? If meaningful and enrich-ening, it is up to us individually to make it so by reading or hearing the story; by reflecting upon it; and by allowing it to stimulate our thinking and to enoble our behavior.

May all the students, faculty, trustees, and friends of McPherson College have an enjoyable and spiritually satisfying Easter.



Quaker Youth Work For Peace

There are opportunities and youth are taking an interest in working for world peace. A recent dispatch from the American Friends Service Committee tells of the constructive peace program that they are promoting.

“More than 400 young people of high school and college age, of all races and religions, are expected to participate in work and study projects sponsored by the American Friends Service Committee (Quakers) in Mexico, Europe and all parts of the United States this summer.

In addition, Mr. Pickett said nearly 40 institutes of International Relations, International Service seminars and Peace Caravans will be sponsored in the United States by the Committee to stimulate interest in achieving world peace. Thousands of students, teachers and other interested persons are expected to attend these conferences.

People who participate in these service and educational projects do so voluntairly, and, for the most part, pay their own expenses.

Approximately 50 Americans, through the Quaker International Voluntary Service, will join with young people from various European countries in repairing and rebuilding homes and community facilities in Finland, Italy and possibly some other countries this summer.

Workers in Mexico will work in five communities. The work of the women’s group will include helping in clinics and hospitals, visiting homes with public health nurses, teaching in some schools, and leading recreation for children.

Men in Mexico will help improve school facilities in a remote Indian village; in Yautepec, they will work on projects in public health engineering as well as assist in a program of teaching illiterates to read and write.”



































We Salute

Glenn S. Strickler of Ramona, Kansas, who received his diploma from McPherson College in May,

Mr. Strickler, after his graduation front McPherson College, became interested In sports. He

served as secretary-treasurer of the county independent basket-ball and baseball leagues for eight years (1923-1931). Other ac-complishments of bis career include: oily councilman from 1923-1939, mayor of Ramona for five years, State Representative from


Klotziokoff has had installed in the Business Office a number of pinball machines and has made

room for crap games. In this manner it is expected that all persons having debts at the Moneybags can relieve themselves of same.

| Bloody Rod Recording Com-pany has just released a record of “Cow Cow Boogie” by Doktor Fee. She made the record just before she was executed.


Red Notes

Dr. Bowman Caught With Blankets

At midnight Thursday night, Brown Browni was caught climbing the fire escape of Arnold Hall to have a secret rendezvous with Baroness Erica Irmgart, von Kaufmann, Browni has been taken into custody and is expected to be exiled to Zanzibar shortly. The Baroness von Kaufmann who came to this country from Frank-furt-on-Rhine, Germany, has been sentenced to remain in her room, closely guarded by Matron Etha Mae Brustky. She is believed to have tried to convert many of the Bolsheviks believers into Nazism.

Later It was revealed that Baroness von Kaufmann threw blankets out of her window, and  heaven knows what else, to her lover Browni. They were un-doubtedly trying to make their escape in the still of the night,

! but Generalissimo Reeveski’s secret police, the Cheka, were on the prowl.


of policy for the press but could only lie on his back and grin as his usual hearty laugh issued forth from his buccal cavity, thrilling all the bystanders.

GILES—HALITOSIS CONTROLER

Ivan Giles has made his mark in the eyes of the national party as he accepted the newly created post of chief “Halitosis Con-troler.” The appointment came as a shock to all but the faithful roommate, Westovok and a friend Miss Berrystoy. Generalissimo Reeveski said today that he felt sure that he had made the proper choice and awarded the position for loyalty and faithfulness as leader of the “Belchers,” an underground group.    


Social Calendar

Monday 3:00 p. m. Meeting of all Reevsky Youth in the chapel.

Tuesday 8:00 p. m. Hanging of Effigy on the Flagpole (Guess Who).

Wednesday Meeting of all Laborers to learn the new school song.

Friday. Free Vodka for everyone in the memory of one week of

Bullshevism Saturday night. Ze Ballet A Rushin—Please dress to come. (In formals that is.)

Adv.—Pinkyk Stinky soap is, your best buy! Are you tired of

dishwater hands? Then use your feet!



Adv.—“How to learn to cuss in Russian in two easy lessons”, by Priest Miller, has just been released and is now on sale at all the McPhersoni newsstands and bookstores.


Glenn Strickler

Marion County in 1944 and 1946, and director of the Ramona Rural High School board of education for the past twelve years.

At present Glenn Strickler is Manager of a retail general store in Ramona, a position he has maintained for the past 25 years. He resides with his wife, the former Nellie McGaffey, and their two children. The children are: Ruth, age 13 and John, age 10.

“I believe I can say that my interest in McPherson College has dimmed only slightly (if at all) in this past quarter century,” says Mr. Strickler. “This could be due in part fact that Ramona still sends a fair number of students to McPherson. The quality of the teachers that we get from McPherson over the years must be the best advertisement of all for the college.”


ALBRIZHT PUBLIC MORALE

The change of administration showed marked improvement as Nicholas Billy Albrizht assumed his post as “Stabilizer of Public Morale.” He had no statement



All we can do to beat inflation, says the Des Moines Register, is to keep our feet on the ground and our money in our pockets.



The National Party today bestowed the highest honor of the country on Mr. and Mrs. Arga-brightnovaski as they became the parents of triplets.

























The Bloody Bullshevik




Reeveski Leads Bolsheviks In Triumphant Revolution

Death Toll Reaches 323 As Reds Reign Terrorizes Campus

Flash! A news bulletin has just come over the wires of the Bloody Bolsheviks teletype system. On Easter Sunday night the gallant and victorious Bolsheviks, under the supervision of Generalissimo Reeveski, will hold a Red Ball in the SUR. All of the loyal Communistic followers are invited. It is expected that some of the Democratic spies will try to infiltrate into the Bolsheviks territory and attend the Ball. For this reason four gards will be placed at each corner of Sharp Hall Headquarters. They will be: Skadoodie Merkey, Red Hollowitski, Harli Utter, and Lerotski Dotski. Free Vodka will be served by Mi Wata-mess Hess, former strong member in the Democratic party, who will be released from his imprisonment in Sharp Hall tower for the occasion.

Veteran Manager Trotsky Webb Succeeds Hayden As Coach


Klotziokoff Bats Friesikoff Out

Loyal Insurugent Holds Moola Bags For Party

Yesterday    morning    at the

stroke of dawn, and at the stroke of Howard Friesikoff’s baseball bat, in his effort to take the last penny from Mrs. Ageeshi’s purse, Paul Klotziokoff sprang from the safe in the business office and overpowered    Friesikoff, Mrs.

Ageeshi was thus saved from the hands of that democratic, capitalistic, reactionary, right-wingist Friesikoff.

Because of this heroism and courage in the struggle of the pro-letarist, Bolshevik Klotziokoff is to be elevated to the post of Monitor of Moola in McPherson Insti-tition’s Money-bags, formerly held by Friesikoff.

After the usual brief, thorough, efficient and undemocratic trial. Friesikoff will undoubtedly be given the only logical sentence for one of his caliber, that of death by hanging by the neck from the flagpole until dead, or at least more so than at present.

Friesikoff in his past years of questionable service to McPhe-soni College (now almost entirely under Bolshevik influence) in his position of Monitor of Moola showed a definite capitalistic tendency in some of his dealings. This was particularly brought to light in the case of Friesikoff vs. Lit-tleski in which Friesikoff sued for the sales tax which he felt had not been paid by Littleski on a 15 cent purchase.

Only with such heroism as shown by the Great Klotzikoff on yesterday’s ante-meridian has the fight of the Bolsheviks been able to meet with the degree of success thus far attained. Through the works of similar benefactors, we will survive, struggle on, succeed and triumph!

Hail to Reeveski! Long live Bolshevikism!

Dellana Lehmanskivitch. who for some time conducted a “Breakfast Course” in classical literature, has just arrived by plane from Moscow. She brings with her greetings from Generalissimo Stalin to Generalissimo Reeveski. Lehmanskivitch brings with her very important information concerning future Communistic tactics.

Hollowayof Adopts One- To- Three Plan

The revolution of the proletariat which has proceeded at such a rapid pace, (it has not just marked time) over the entire campus, has spread through Fahnestockoff Hall. Mr. and Mrs. Karl Zigler-ski (referred to affectionately as "Pop” and “Mom” by the now extinct bourgeosie) were attacked while lenin bed. Mr. Harley Utterly Utterski stole into their bedchamber with two straight pins and let the blood run from their respective carotid arteries. Mr. Utterski has naturally been hailed as one of the heroes of our time.

Miss Phyllis Hollowayoff has been appointed to the post of Keeper of the Kremlins Kannon-fodder formerly held jointly by “Pop and Mom” and has now established residence in their former suite. Miss Hollowayoff feels that she is now in her seventh heaven, using the term figuratively for no good Bolshevik can believe in a heaven other than the rule of the Proletariat.

It is rumored that Winston Beamski is to occupy a suite of rooms in Fahnestockoff Hall since his fifth divorce suit has been settled. The living conditions in the Hall are ideal now. Enough residents were killed (may Reeveski bless their souls) in the revolution to make it possible for each man to have a suite of three rooms now instead of three men in one room as was proposed by the capitalistic group known collectively as the Student Ministers, who as expected, joined with the Royalist forces in attempting to repress the proletariat.

There is now a very communal setup in the Hall. One may see someone at any time of the day trotskying up the hall to the All-offbriglitski suite to get the communal typewriter or to some other suite to borrow one of the communal alarm clocks. Mr. All-offbrightski holds the post of Tabulator of the Third-floor Typewriter.

The triumph of the proletariat has meant perhaps more to the inmates of Fahnestock Hall than to any other group. Although there has always been definite communal tendencies in the Hall, the revolution has meant much in relieving the crowded conditions existing there.

was a victim of strangulation while fleeing. Forney was sent enced to work on the stabilizing program in Sharp so that there might be room for more than one cow. Dr. Metzler has been demoted to S'upt. of Grounds and Buildings and will have as his assistant Citizen Siek.

Laissez Faire Policy Adopted

By Ballskevov

The office of the former Dean Ivan Fleminzskov now lies in the wake of the recent bloody massacre following the assault, abduction and killing of the beloved members of the personnel committee.

The dead lifeless bodies of the victims and former tyrants of state are at this moment hanging from the gnarled arms of the trees on the north side of the Kremlin. As the tyrants died, the smirk ridden faces of the assas-ins sadistically gave forth with their fiendish laughs.

The meanest, most bloodthirsty sneer of all the condemned committee curled the numerous chins and wrinkles of Madame Mary Feeskovich as she cried for mercy, mercy in her last moments.

The new committee will be chosen from the band of revolters and will be headed by Harrizon Ballskevov. The new post was awarded to him by Generalissimo Marvin Nikoli Reeveski for his brilliant leadership during the bloody fight.

The latest statement that is available amidst the reorganiza-ing confusion was that Ballskevov has ordered free vodka for everyone as we celebrate the downfall of the old regime.

According to the new policy, anyone and everyone may schedule events on the calendar as he pleases, disregarding previous activities and implied precedence may legally occur whenever necessary and possible. Study hours will be abolished immediately.

Ballskevov assured Reeveski that the new plan would work effectively and that social events and activities would function regularly and efficiently by letting everyone do as he pleases.

Red Notes

The NKVD has been close on the trail of Betinni Gravelbreaker, who recently made her escape from the McPhersoni campus. She is believed to be heading for Washington D. C. to consult President Truman on the situation here. We are sure, however, that she will not be successful in persuading the President into sending troop to aid the Democrats. Generalissimo Reeveski has sent out orders to brand Betinni Gravelbreaker as soon as she is caught. Perhaps she will be forced into marriage with Sea-Czar Moyerovna. who has secretly loved her for ages.

Bolsheviks Transform Arnold Into Seventh Heaven—Features French Fries And Vodka

On The

Record

FIFTH DIVORCE

Peter Beamovich smiled today as he received the divorce decree from his fifth communal wife. As it stands “on the record” Beam-ovich only laughed as he refused to pay alimony and still considers life just a big joke.

Orville Buskingham has been given the contract for extermination, along with a room in the hall, which insures permanent residence.

Other additions are private telephones in each room, and finally after these many years the securing of new beds. This very fact proves that bullshevism is more efficient than democracy, inasmuch as it has been rumored for some years that the girls were getting new beds. Reevsky has definitely been in gear.

Dellana Lehmanskivitch, teacher of Literature has disbanded her 8:00 o'clock Shakespeare class so that the students may sleep. She is giving a "Breakfast Course” however. For a small price, you may discuss the classics with her while you eat breakfast. (You also have to furnish breakfast.)

The Rushin Room, formerly known as the College dining hall is now ready tor use. It is complete with four tier crystal chandeliers. and the big surprise for everyone is that the Don Cossack

Don Keminski will be unable to compete in the AAU wrestling meet this year because of a neck injury he received last night on the cemetery road. Oberestki (Ann) claims to be quite a wrestler herself scoring a fall in one minute.

Marvoni Nickolai Reeveski Generalissimo of the Bolshevik forces, has recently declared all-out war against the Democratic contingencies of McPhersoni Institution. Already his band of marauders has spread terror and destruction throughout the campus. Generalissimo Reeveski is leading his band in true Lenin fashion, stopping at nothing, and with one goal in mind: to revolutionize the entire college system and set up a standard form of Communism. His band consists of students, who believe in the Communistic form of government and their theme is “War-Communism.”

Death Toll Mounts

All private property is being abolished and every economic function is being controlled by the government. There have been innumerable assassinations, mass slaughter, torture and ridicule placed upon the Democratic believers. So far the toll of dead includes:    2 Priests, 20 School

masters and Professors. 1 Physician. 50 Landowners and 250 “intelligentsia” students. Of the latter it has been reported that two students of that group were allowed to remain alive. But the sentences placed upon them are considered far worse than death. Susanikin Ikenberritch has been sentenced to wear a muzzle upon her mouth, preventing her from talking for five years. It is believed that,she will have passed away by that time, under the terrible strain. Her combs have been taken away from Barbaroti Burtonivitch and she should soon become strangled to death (by her own hair, that is).

Dreaded Cheka

The ruthless, bloodthirsty band of Bolsheviks consists of two main groups, the White Terror and the Red Terror. The Cheka, dreaded secret police, is also at work and the NKVD have drawn up plans for the bombing of Sharp Hall in the near future. Reeveski Declares War

No sooner than the Great Reeveski had returned from his brief encounter with Petervitch, than he declared war and sent out an order for the arrest of Petervitch. As Petervitch was being drug through the court-yard, hundreds of loyal Communist followers stoned him and his effigy was burnt in the square. He was sent, without trial, to a Corrective Labor Camp for five years. Here he will be tortured and purged until he commits himself to Communistic doctrines.

Sea-Czar Moyerovna

It was reported that Commandant of the Bolshevik fleet, Sea-Czar Ronaldichak Moyerovna, with a mighty slew of vessels, has been spotted sailing down the Draw. His course is directed toward Fort McPhersoni and he will undoubtedly dock at Euclid and charge the Fort with flank movements, if his bombardment tactics fail.

Brownimir Heads Corp

Jessica Brownimir has recently been promoted, by Generalissimo Reeveski, from the rank of piano tuner for the Cossack Chor us and the Ballet A Rushin, to the position of Commandant of the Red Women’s Corps. She leads the women in calesthenics and daily exercises and teaches them much that they should know and understand about Bolshevik-ism. Her first officers are Sko-doodie-Ruth Merkey and Polter Peterson.

Appelgati and Floryasa are holding religious emphasis in their rooms at Fahnestocki Kremlin all hours, even during the bloody battles, to try and convert the men into becoming Student Min isters and claiming Czar Peter vitch as their champion of Democracy. But these, supposedly secret meetings, will soon be put to a halt.

HAYDENSTOY FINED

Tomv Haydenstoy was fined 500 bu. of wheat today by the new regime as he was chastised for refusing to salute fellow neurotics and depressives. He is being held a prisoner in the tower of Sharp Hall as he awaits deportation to Siberia. Generalissimo Reeveski has ordered a temporary stay of execution as Haydenstoy was heard to say “pardon me.”

Bolshevik’s Motto

All Bolsheviks are equal, but some are more equal than others.

Lenin Olson Heads New Red Faculty

As a result of the trucidations and the holocaust of the bloody revolution that quickly overthrew the democratic minded faculty of McPhersoni College last week, new faculty members have been appointed but no longer will the policy of the school he decided in faculty meetings. The Central Committee of the Communist party will decide all such matters in the future.

Only Dr. Lenin Olson, who has secretly been teaching the principles of his master Lenin, and Comrade Lehman, firm believer in equality, were saved from assasi-nation or exile.

Hess Sentenced

Professor Watamess Hess, chief opponent of democratic practices, has been sentenced to five years in the Sharp Hall Tower. In his trial he was found guilty of trying to practice democracy in his freshman English classes by recognizing personalities at the door and unlocking it. He will he forced to make doors during his imprisonment in the tower so that Room 9 may have plenty of substitutes.

Dr. Kerniski will have her head shaved and her body will be put in a straight jacket. Irl Frantz, former prime minister of democracy, will be put on a starvation diet.

Bowerskisox To Dog House

Professor Bowerskisok received a severe penalty instead of homicide, he will be forced to work in the Dog House, providing entertainment for the patrons by turning gladiator and fighting bulls. His history teaching was found to be especially damaging to the Communists cause as his students were thoroughly indoctrinated with American History and democracy. Alvin Cooski will succeed him.

Sentenced to pulling dandelions for the next 10 years on the athletic field. Sergius M. Dell wept woody tears as he heard his sentence. John Kidweltz will conduct daily classes on the "Art of Building a Gallows” and “How to Learn Nothing in 18 Weeks.” Boby Bushholder will direct sandpapering techniques and coordinate girl-boy relationships as Director of Comrades. Anita Josephine Norlin will direct techniques on “How to keep a man from going to California” and serve as Dean of Women.

The Atom and Berkeblitz

Prof. Berkeblitz, because of his chemical importance, will be confined to the Sharp Hall Tower to work on atomic energy. The atomic secrets are urgently needed for it has been rumored that the Bethany Swedes already have the bombs and will use them to protect their capitalism and King Oscar. Miss Krehbiel will be transferred to the Chemistry department where she can put her hands to work.

Harrisski of the library has been placed behind bars with her card catalogs. She was found guilty of trying to confuse the students by mixing up the cards. In the meantime Citizen Brandt will be the chief bouncer. Kline

Arnold Hall has become a veritable Red Paradise ever since Reevski has gained new political power. The changes taking place are even more striking than those which occurred under the recent Miracle Fund. (The balance of the Miracle Fund has been confiscated by Reevsky, making possible, a Vodka party.)

Etha Mae and James Brustky, newly weds, are the new mom and pop of the girls dorm. They are residing in a seven room suite, which was formerly known as first floor. They have made some radical changes, including new carpets on the fire escape which enables the girls to come in without disturbing the three who might be sleeping. The hours have been changed as follows: Week nights: Please use your own judgement.

Saturday and Sunday nights: Please do not come in before midnight. Breakfast will be served in bed at 10:30 by Leta Vodka, Head Chambermaid of Arnold.

One of the first steps in reconditioning Arnold Hall was the extermination of the cockroaches.

Slim Heidebrecht Will Assist With WAA

Wayward Trotsky Webb has been hired as Director of Athletics the Central Committee of the Revolutionists announced today. He will succeed Tommy Hayden and Mary Slitzer who were forced to flee from their hang-out. Webb's very capable assistent will be Slim Heidebretz, a four year shuffleboard letterman at Vassar College.

Citizen Heidebretz will coach the women's athletic classes and teach first aid. He promised that he would provide a strong program for the females, sponsoring a program that will cause even Rachel Long Necker to wear a size 36 belt.

Equality Not Obesity

McPHerson feels very fortunate in securing Wayward Webb, who has managed the New York Yankees for the last 14 years. Comrade Webb in his first press release said “every true member of the Communist party will receive a coveted “M” award. No more will the award depend upon obesity. Equality will be the watchword. All men out for a sport will be taken on all the trips. New squad members will receive the best equipment, which incidentally will be all pink.

The head coach will also conduct a class in “How to cut the Rug,” or "The Social Dance.” Play Notre Dame and Army A strong schedule has already been arranged for the football squad. Their opening game will be with Notre Dame and the final game with Army. Such weak schools as Ottawa and Baker will he dropped and a petition will be sent to the Big Nine asking for admission. The Swedes are to ho abhorred because of their capitalistic beliefs.

Luckman and Kurland

Outstanding athletes have already been signed for the coming season, Webb announced, but hopes have been dampened as Moris McKirov Clung rejected his contract calling for a salary of $1.00 per game. Fanny Markam-burz also rejected his contract calling for a salary of $75,000 a year with a bonus of $100 for each point he scores. Athletes who have signed are Charlie Black from K. U., Sid Luckman, of the Chicago Bears, John Williford from Missouri, and Bob Kurland of Oklahoma A. M. "We do not intend to professionalize our athletic program.” said Webb. “1 believe in amateur athletics with all participating.”

$50,000 Balance

It has not been decided yet what would be done with the $50.-000 balance left by Hayden but it is rumored that a new stadium seating 100,000 will be built and painted pink.

Orchestra will be playing every evening.

The Room has been fashioned in a semi-circle, with tables for two or four. (If you have more friends than that, which is doubtful, push the tables together.) Cut flowers adorn each table, and white coated waiters serve the meal in courses. (Wouldn't Fries and Slifer flip if they knew this).

Winskin Beamshki is the now head cook, and his first step was to join the "Fruit of the Month Club." He also purchased a Susie Q potato cutter which cuts French Fries in circles rather than in strips. (French Fries will be served every Wednesday and Friday. and we hope the Bulleshe-vists won’t take offense.) There is plenty of Vodka for everyone and you are invited to bring us many guests as you like, at any time you like.

These are only a few of the changes which are rapidly turning Arnold into a Kremlin. The girls are fat and well satisfied, and would probably revolt again if necessary.